If you want to inspire all other road users to drive like they have a serious bout of crabs, then I would advise erecting a giant metal ‘L’ sign on the top of your car. Trust me, it will act like a beacon for attracting idiots from far and wide (and I’m not referring to the students). Yes when a learner driver pushes the pedal to the metal for the first time, they’ll stall. Yes they’ll drive in weird kangaroo bursts of quick-stop-quick-slow, giving their instructor gradual and permanent whiplash, they’ll zig-zag across the road like they’re totally trousered and they’ll take half an hour to get started every time they give way to someone. But if you’re in a rush and want to get home quickly, then it’s only logical that none of these things will help:
1-driving up their ar*e (tailgating is responsible for more than a 3rd of all road accidents)
2-dangerously overtaking as if you’ve got the mad skills of Jensen Button (in 2007 175 people were killed and 1,351 were seriously injured from accidents caused by overtaking)
3-smashing your fist on your horn repeatedly (not technically the legal use of your horn)
4-screaming, swearing and generally acting like a chump (a significant number of chumps end up ‘waxed like a candle’)
When I took my driving lessons with a driving school called ‘Live And Let Drive’, I didn’t realise just how apt a name that was going to be. I’ll admit it, I would have preferred if my lifestyle allowed for a chauffeur, ready to take me anywhere I wanted at any time I wanted (say for example a chauffer like Jason Statham from Transporter 2…sigh..swoon). But alas I was born into a life more likely to enable me to ‘hot-wire’ than to hire and so off I went in search of a driving school brave enough to take me on.
As it turned out, I had a really lovely driving instructor, who disappointingly wasn’t Axl Rose nor did she look anything like Jason ‘the fittie’ Statham. But she did come and pick me up from work, drop me back home and had me in stitches on every single one of my lessons. She was well aware of the ‘L’ plate phenomena and it’s potential for serious danger and combatted it successfully with her calming and soothing tones. If it wasn’t for her, I swear I would have either cried or cracked skulls in an emotional fury on most of my lessons.
Now that I have my licence *passed first time. ahem* I am always very patient and respectful of learner drivers. Not because I have the demure benevolence of a Hindu cow but because I don’t want to cause a crash, I have sympathy for how nerve wracking driving can be for the first time and I still find aggressive drivers to be loathsome cretins totally worthy of my disdain.
Original article found here